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October 2020 Oasis Odyssey

by Leslie Ackles

Mama, Are You Crying?

 

Seek the Wisdom
that will untie your knots.
-Rumi
My focus this month:
Honoring Myself: Letting myself feel even the tough emotions. Choosing what values I will hold most dear and taking care of myself in order to be there for others.

My son, Jason, living with his wife in S. Korea on a recent Zoom call queried “Mama are you crying? Are you alright?”
Well, I was ready to cry but I didn’t know it. So, I started crying. I miss him so much. It has been almost a year since I’ve seen him in person.

I didn’t know I was about to cry so leave it to my observant son to discern my state through an electronic medium 6,000 miles away.

Even though I have many joys:
  • Apple picking with grandkids
  • Visiting granddaughter in Michigan
  • Taking long walks in the woods as the colors change
  • Attending women’s group meetings in person socially distanced
  • Weekly Zoom calls with my family and extended family and feeling that connection like never before

Even with all those positives in my life I teared up this week.  Tears falling slowly down my cheeks at the oddest times. Even being intuitive, I had no idea what I was crying about. All I could do was let them fall.

There are certainly enough things happening in the world right now to bring on the tears.
  • Fires
  • Floods
  • Contentious election
  • Pandemic
  • Senseless loss of black lives and ensuing protests
  • Missing family and friends
  • Missing physical touch

So, what can I do?

Let the tears fall.  Honor the sadness and despair within me.
Then create a path for me through these times.   Asking myself: What do I choose to listen to? Believe? What values do I hold most dear and will not let go of?

And taking care of myself.
  • Meditation each morning. I forgot this over the summer and have gratefully remembered.
  • Help others. Checking in with one person per day so that I thinking about someone other than myself.
  • Learn and grow. I am taking Kelly McGonigal’s 40 Days to Positive Change
  • Decrease the time watching the news
  • Walk in Nature
  • Connect in whatever way possible with those I love

How can you honor yourself? Create a path of truth unique to you? Take care of yourself in ways that feed you?

This will end. There is hope. We are in this together.

May 2020 Oasis Odyssey: CV10

by Leslie Ackles

Opening Up?

 

"This very moment is the perfect teacher -
and lucky for us it's with us wherever we are." - Pema Chodron

My focus for this week:
  • Curiosity: Be with my conflicting feelings about the process of "opening up."

As various states take the first steps towards opening up, what comes up for you?

For me:

  • Fear: Will I quarantine for 9 weeks only to be exposed in this phase?
  • Anxiety: Will others be careful and respectful of social distancing, wearing masks etc.?
  • Frustration: I finally figured out how to function in this quarantine environment and now I need to figure out how to function in a new more open environment?!
  • Hope: Hope that it will be over as I see the first buds of rebirth for a life after pandemic.
  • Joy: This will be over someday and I can hug my grandchildren

What comes up for you?

Well - there is a first time for everything! There was a first time for figuring out how to survive and even thrive in quarantine. Now a first time for the very slow process of opening up.

Brene Brown has a process for First Times called FFT: F****** First Times (appropriately named?!) The phases are:
  • Name it: What am I feeling? Why am I feeling this way? A key to understanding
  • Normalize it: This is how the new feels each time I try or do something new. I have been here before.
  • Perspective: This doesn't mean it will always be this bad or this hard. It is hard now and I know from experience that I will learn how to be in a new place.
  • Reality Check: Check on your own expectations. "Expectations are just resentments waiting to happen." - Anne Lamott

 

 

Where are you in this process? Can you be present with your feelings?

This will end. There is hope. We are in this together.

 

 

April 2020 Oasis Odyssey: CV6

by Leslie Ackles

What will you remember?

 

"Love is the last thing we need to ration right now." - Brene Brown

My focus for this week: Savoring: Savoring those things that I have time for now. Shifting my perspective to being thankful for what I have instead of being pulled down by what is missing.

 

What will you remember about this time? What do you want to bring forward into the new normal when our world opens up again? For me it will be:
  • Long afternoon walks with my husband. How was it that we didn't make time for that before?
  • Reading. I love to read. How was it that I always chose to read only when I had finished my to do list before?
  • Zoom calls with family and friends all over the country. How is it that it never occurred to me that we could be in contact between visits?

 

We have the power to choose what we bring forward out of this pandemic.
What will you choose?

This will end. There is hope. We are in this together.


March 2020 Oasis Odyssey

by Leslie Ackles

Beacon of Light

 

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”– Leo Buscaglia


Each one of us can be a Beacon of Light. We can bring kindness and caring to each person we meet. That is our choice. That is our power.

I was struck by a Delta pilot’s words as he welcomed us onto our flight to New York City. He completed the typical: “Welcome to our flight. Thank you for flying Delta.” Then proceeded, in a lovely way, to remind us to be kind to each other: “Make sure you take care of yourself and take care of others in your life.”

I was struck with the poetic nature of those lovely words. The pilot didn’t need to share that sentiment, but he chose to go the extra step to be kind, to be a light in our difficult times.

It made me realize that we have opportunities to be “Beacons of Light” every day. These opportunities need not be during a volunteering stint or in an organized activity. Those opportunities may come in the grocery store, waiting in line to renew your license, or on a walk in your town center.

On this flight I found that light in the woman who graciously, without hesitation, gave up her aisle seat on the plane to an elderly woman who requested it.

I found the light in the man who helped me put my suitcase up in the overhead bin with a smile and a nod.

I felt the warmth of the light from our Uber driver who waited for us, after already being paid, to make sure we could figure out how to get into our vacation rental in what turned out to be a sketchier neighborhood than expected.

And this was only Day One of our sister’s reunion. So many Beacons of Light.

I see this Beacon of Light in the subtitle of Greta Thunberg’s book: “no one is too small to save the planet.” We can each make a difference one person at a time.

Where in your life can you be a Beacon of Light? Each of us has the ability to care. Each of us has the ability to make someone's day, week, or life bette,r and more full of light with an act of kindness.

“Kindness in words, creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.” – Lao Tzu